Evi's Bad Twin
by TheUltimateJater
Summary: You may think Evangeline Lily is sweet and innocent, but wait till you see her twin! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! As this is my first time writing a fanfic. This is NOT a oneshot. I will be adding more to it. And remember PLEASE REVIEW.
1. Chapter 1

Evi's Bad Twin

Once upon a time, there was an amazing actor named Evangeline Lilly.

She was on a prime time show called "**LOST**". She was close to the perfect image of what a good person should be (minus the bad driving and cursing). Unknown to poor Evi, she had an evil twin named Evi L. No, not Evil but, Evi L

Now, Evi L hated the environment, Christianity, and Dominic Monaghan. She hated family, love, joy and all things good (minus the good driving and she'd never cussed a day in her life). They were polar opposites. The only thing they had in common was their love for Polar Bears. Although Evi loved them because they were fuzzy and cute and God's little creatures. Evi L loved polar bears for their long fangs and their ability to kill.

Evi L was jealous of Evi's large fandom and the fact that their parents loved Evi more than Evi L. In fact, Evi L hadn't gotten to live with the Lilly's due to the fact that her glowing red eyes scared the heck out of them and they had been unable to look at her without wetting themselves in fright. Thus, poor Evi L had been left all alone in the Canadian cold. 

So! One day Evi L decided to ruin Evi's life starting with ridding her of her happiness with her boyfriend, Dom. Evi L flew to Oahu and soon found Dom's house. She knocked on the door of Dom's house. 

"Blimey, Bloke, cup o'tea, wave that jolly roger, wot, wot!" Dom yelled to no one in particular as to keep up with his English image, as he headed to the door.

"Evi!" he exclaimed, pulling her inside the house. "What're you doing here?! I thought we agreed to meet on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays! Today is Thursday! The press will say we were getting it on or something! Even though we are! Just….can't you wait 'til tomorrow?"

Evi L was surprised that Evi had a schedule with Dom. "I…"

"Blimey! What happened to your eyes?!" Dom interjected. 

"Er….I cut them. Now they're bleeding, eh?" Evi L said.

"Why the bloody hell did you cut them?" Dom asked. 

"I was dreaming I cut them and when I woke up it had really happened." Evi L said, lamely. 

"……Then how did you get here? You'd be blind!" Dom exclaimed. 

"It was a…..miracle?" Evi L said, running out of excuses. 

"Ah, well, might as well have a cup o' tea, fresh from the kettle, eh?" Dom asked.

"As long as it doesn't have crack in it." Evi L shouted. 

"Blimey, how'd you know about my addiction?!" Dom said, sweating profusely.

"I'm your co-star, remember?!" Evi L snapped. 

"Blimey, why are you yelling at me?" Dom asked, whimpering.

"Because I hate LOST!" Evi L smirked. "I think LOST is retarded, but not as retarded as your acting!" Evi L spat.

"W-What?!" Dom said, his big blue puppy dog eyes watering.

"You're a retard, too! I don't know why I'm with you!" Evi L growled at the now depressed Dom. 

"B-but, I thought you loved me, Honey Bear! Honey bunches of oats? Sugar Bear? Butter biscuit? Sweetie Pie? Snookums? LOVE OF MY LIFE?!" Dom cried as Evi L stomped out of his house.

"See ya, you stupid hobbit!" She yelled, slamming the door behind her. 

"WHY DON'T CANADIANS LOVE ME?!" Dom yelled with a sob toward the heavens. 

"Heh heh, heh. Part 1 complete. Part 2: make Evi get fired from LOST." Evi L grinned.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**A**fter completing Part 1, Evi L. flew out of Oahu to her Super Secret Shack of Complete Dislike of Evangeline Lilly(she'd named it herself)she built in the steep mountains of Vancouver, Canada after she had been kicked out of the Lilly's house. It not only had her personal belongings but schemes she'd worked on for years and various posters of Evangeline that had been destroyed or tortured in some way. Several were burned, some were ripped, some had holes in them from darts, one was covered in some sort of unknown substance that seemed to be eating away at the poster slowly. When her destination was reached, she wore contacts to make her eyes green so that she could disguise herself as Evi, after the incidence with Dom and her red eyes.

The following morning, she headed back to Oahu, where she found Evi in her dressing room and tied her up in the bathroom so she couldn't escape. "Heh heh heh! Looks you're going to have to find a new man..." She told the frightened Evi who looked rather confused by this comment. She took Evi to her car and locked her inside.

When it was Show time, Evi L. and Josh Holloway took their places in the cages and when it came time for the "Torture-Sawyer" scene, Evi L. shouted things like: "Come on! Beat him harder! He deserves it!" and "I love watching Sawyer get beat!"

Josh Holloway was not pleased with this. "What the hell is wrong with you Evi?!" Josh snapped.

"Just doing my job." Evi L. replied.

"Ya, well it sure don't include cheering as I got tortured!" Josh fumed.

"CUT!" JJ Abrams shouted. "EVI, MY TRAILER, NOW!!!"J.J. bellowed.

"Whatever" Evi L. replied rebelliously.

As they entered the trailer, JJ threw himself a chair as if where going to beat someone. "_WHAT _is the **_MEANING _**of this?!!" J.J. said, steam bursting through his ears.

"I've said it once, I'll say it again. I'm just doing my job." Evi L. said, as if this were a casual conversation.

"Well, one more crack like that and you're out of **HERE**!!" J.J. warned.

Evi L. shrugged and they left the trailer. The next scene was the one where Jack tells Kate to run. **"RUN**!!!!!" Jack bellowed.

"Ok! I'M FREE AND GONE WITH THE WIND!!!!" Evi L. screamed, running off set.

"**THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!! NICOLE EVANGELINE LILLY, YOU'RE FIRED!" **JJ screamed.

"YES!!" Evi L. remarked.

"What?" J.J. said, surprised.

"Um…uhhhh… I mean NNNNNOOOOO!!" Evi L. said trying to hide the fact she was glad. "Two down, many more to go." Evi L. smirked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

After ridding Evi of her job, Evi L sat in the Super Secret Shack of Complete Dislike of Evangeline Lilly thinking of how to ruin Evi's (who's still in the car but luckily had some food and a drink from the set) life now. She decided to go with ridding her of her (and partially Evi L.'s) family.

So Evi L. flew to FortSaskatchewan, where she found the Lilly's house. She knocked on the door and waited for a moment for someone to answer the door. When no one did, she opened the door and went inside. "Hello?" she asked. _Flick! _The lights turned on and The Lilly family plus everyone of Evi's co-workers jumped up and shouted "We'll miss you!" Evi L jumped in shock. "What the heck?!" she said. "We're having a we'll miss you party because you got fired!" Jorge Garcia replied. "Looks like I'll have to get rid of her family _and_her friends." Evi L muttered. "What's that?" Mrs. Lilly asked. "Nothing" Evi L said, grinning.

After that, they all sat down at the table for a celebratory dinner. "Tonight," Mrs. Lilly said," We will have chicken noodle soup with broccoli on the side," Mrs. Lilly told everyone. When dinner was served, Evi L _cooked_ up a plan to rid Evi of her family and friends. When everyone began cooling their soup to eat it, Evi L blew like she was blowing out a forest fire and soup splashed Terry O'Quinn's face. "Yeow!" he exclaimed. "What was that for?" he asked. "Oh, I'm sorry" Evi L. said, bluffing the apology. Next, Evi L. took a bite of broccoli and pressed down on the handle of the fork with her thumb, flinging the fork from her mouth across the table narrowly missing Mr. Lilly. "Evangeline, what's gotten into you?" Mr Lilly asked sternly. "Just…clumsy I guess." Evi L said, snickering. "Well _don't_ let it happen again." He said through gritted teeth. "Whatever." Evi L. said in a casual tone.

After dinner, Mrs. Lilly served brownies for dessert. Everyone oooohhed at the sight of them. Everyone took a brownie (Jorge took three) and began eating. Evi L. took a bite and then spat it out in disgust. The saliva covered chunk of brownie hit Josh Holloway straight in the eye. "First you cheer when I get tortured, now you spit brownies in my face?! What the hell are you, a Llama?!" He bellowed. "Evangeline! You stop this nonsense **NOW**!!!!!!!" Mr. Lilly yelled, standing up from the table. "Well maybe if this brownie didn't taste so bad maybe I wouldn't have spit it out!!" Evi L. yelled, getting up from the table as well. "There is _nothing _wrong with my cooking!!" Mrs. Lilly yelled at Evi L., getting up from the table. In only a few seconds, everyone began to get up from the table and argue. "**I'M OUTTA HERE**!!!!!!!!!!!! **I NEVER WANNA SEE THIS FRECKLED LLAMA AGAIN**!!!!!!!" Josh Holloway bellowed slamming the door as he left. Soon every one of Evi's co-workers had left the house. "Get outta my house!!!!!!" Mr. Lilly yelled at Evi L. " I thought you'd never ask." Evi L. said to Mr. Lilly as she exited the house. "3 down, many more to go." Evi L. said like last time.

Author's note: I apologize for not updating. I have been SO busy lately. Hope you liked this chapter. Please review! Also if you have any suggestions for the story please PM me!


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